Last week we promised you our readers,”DUET SPECIAL” DUET (AN ALARIWO WRITER + A GUEST WRITER)… EITHER A COMBINED POST OR A DIFFERENT POSTS BUT WITH THE SAME THEME…Enjoy this piece from @goldenmoses and stay tuned on Wednesday for the @toyourseeojo edition or perspective of this same theme and story
I sat there slightly leaning forward with the smile still registered on my face as she flipped through the sheets; the sheets that contained my stories in them.
She had read a couple out loud to her friends and not even a series of dirty slaps could remove that smile from my face; the smile they placed there with their wild ovations between and at the end of every story.
I was probably lost in the moment since I didn’t see her calming the lot down for the beginning of the next story but then the title didn’t fail to violently wake me up from my trance.
‘The letter I never sent’ she uttered as she adjusted herself in her seat
‘Hmmn this must be interesting’ she continued as she winked at me.
Even I, could not believe how fast my legs carried me across the room to retrieve the incriminating document but like she was reading my mind, she was off her seat almost immediately I came out of mine; so I chased; the chase was intense and was almost yielding fruit until she passed the paper to one of her friends and that one passed to another and it just continued in that order.
Amidst laughter they continued passing the sheets even after it was clear that I’d given up. I tried very hard to force a smile as I begged desperately for them not to read the piece but after a couple of minutes it was very evident that my pleas fell on deaf ears so I proceeded to my seat as they’d requested and diligently watched my emotional execution.
‘For whatever it’s worth’ she started with a smile of fulfillment ” ‘I think I love’, but then again that’s the problem I don’t exactly understand what love is. Although I tried a couple of times to understand, I always came to the same conclusion, a conclusion that I never wanted to accept; that love always comes with a condition.
Contrary to what you and most other people might have thought, I didn’t ask you to date me out of boredom, neither did I do it out of pity, the decision was not made out of the blues; it had been a long time coming.
I’d had a thing for you before that ice cream date and like every sharp dude, all I did was not to misuse the opportunity when it presented itself.
The day I met you was not the day I met your mother. I smiled to my friends with the pack in my hand and said to them ‘that’s the girl I’m going to marry’.
We laughed about it and cracked more jokes than expected; that was probably because I kept bringing it up at every chance I got.
After sometime the jokes died down but the thoughts in my mind were still much alive; I’d seen your mum and I knew I wanted to be with you when you were that old and pretty. And then again you were just too beautiful and I couldn’t get that past my mind.
The second time we met was the time we officially met, I wasn’t too hospitable; I know but the woman in my life then wasn’t exactly making things easy for me.
I saw you talking and that was the highlight of my month, even the fact that the girl I’d sent for was taking forever to come out, that wasn’t about to remove that warm feeling your gestures sent to my heart; the feeling I got when you looked in my direction, nudged your hair back, hissed and smiled mildly seconds later to something your brother said.
Apparently you were reporting me to your brother for been rude; you were angry and for that again I’m sorry, but that wasn’t what was on my mind at that point; you just made my heart skip and I wasn’t about to let you go.
I knew I couldn’t have you, at least not until I got rid of the girl in my life; then and somehow try to convince your brother that I was not the bastard he thought I was.
But then I wanted to keep you close so I did what every greedy man would do; I got my cousin to ask you out.
I wasn’t too surprised when I heard you guys didn’t work out, in fact by impulse I was glad. It was later it dawned on me that it meant you were not going to be in the family and that made me sad. But then the mixed feelings turned to pure joy when you told me the reason it didn’t work with him was because you had something for me.
I’m really sorry I couldn’t show how happy I was when those words surfaced. I knew so many things depended on my reaction and it probably gave you the impression that I wasn’t interested; but then you were not the only one thinking of consequences; I had so many women in my life then and I couldn’t with clear conscience bring you into that.
I’m sorry if I acted like a jackass after that time. I figured you were trying to get over me, that was the reason I gave you some space; but then again I never expected you to handle the rejection with that much maturity and that in it’s own little way made me want you more.
But as time would have it; as a good mid fielder; it passed, and we forgot each other at least until tragedy struck.
You probably thought you didn’t do enough for me that period but even my parents; the ones I thought had answers to all questions didn’t do a better job.
Although it drove me to the brink of tears each time I read it, the letter you sent kept me going for the rest of my exams and a long time after.
I’m sorry I couldn’t retaliate the care you showed me; the period was trying and I was chocked up because even with the death in the family, everybody still wanted something from me; everyone except you; and for that sole reason I knew I was meant to be with you.
My parents with the series of pastors wanted to turn me to the pope overnight. I don’t blame them though, nobody would want to feel that kind of pain twice.
My friends didn’t exempt me from the usual cash favors, my siblings on the other hand wanted me to be strong for the family; their claim being that I’m the first son. I felt their pain quite alright; I couldn’t just understand it; I mean I’m just human and it’s not like they shared a lower portion of grief for me.
The girl in my life then crowned everything up by professing love to me barely a month after the incidence; talk about bad timing, her wrist watch was obviously broken.
I’m sorry that when the time finally came for me to ask you out; I couldn’t do it in the most romantic way possible. I had it all in my head, my mouth just seemed to stop cooperating with me when the time came to speak.
And about the first kiss, let’s just say I’ll never kiss on the mountain again.
The relationship was blossoming like every normal young relationship until all of a sudden you became difficult; you stopped calling, pinging you didn’t even want to see me.
At first I thought it was normal relationship routine until you came to my estate; barely 10 meters from my house to check on two dudes and you didn’t dim it fit to say hi to your boyfriend.
I really couldn’t figure out whether you were trying to rub it in my face or you were just trying to be truthful but in my opinion you shouldn’t have told me you came at all; you could’ve kept it from me; you could’ve at least lied to protect my feelings.
You kept doing your thing and I kept absorbing it in good faith at least; until you were meant to travel and I asked to see you a day before you were due to leave and you told me it was not going to be possible because another boy was coming to see you; your reason been that he asked before me.
At first I thought you were joking; but then the way you defended his rights persistently cleared that doubt.
I’ve not been in plenty relationships but from common sense one of the main reasons of being in one is actually getting each other’s undivided attention whenever you both need it.
I’ve been angry a couple of times in my life; I’ve been sad a couple more times too but what I felt that night was none of the above; it was a combination of the two.
I felt my eyes budge; like it was ready to pour down tears; I felt my fist clench like it was about to dish some punches; my heart was hot and heavy; I felt like screaming but my vocal cords failed me.
I raised my head from my phone and took a quick look at my family members; and I saw mild smiles on their faces as they watched some Nigerian actors fool themselves on TV; they were trying to be happy; and for a moment there I thought that was what I wanted for myself.
And whatever we were doing wasn’t exactly serving that purpose so I decided to end it.
I’m sorry I broke up with you over the phone; you weren’t exactly agreeing to the break up when we saw earlier.
I’m sorry I also didn’t agree for us to get back together; contrary to what you might have thought; I wasn’t trying to be difficult; the relationship wasn’t going to make it; and we been in it was just a gradual punishment.
Once upon a time I was a happy person; I remember the days when people camped around me for long hours knowing that at least once during their period of stay, they would laugh their asses off.
But not anymore; I’ve become the moody dude; people gather around to try and fix his life.
I miss those days; the days when people depended on me to be happy; the expectant look on their faces when I’m about rendering a joke, and the outburst of laughter when I eventually render it well.
I’m not blaming you for any of this, in fact the therapist I met blamed it on ‘the death in the family’. But then he just concluded on the little I chose to share with him; I knew within myself that we contributed a great deal to it.
I’m really sorry I couldn’t say these things to you before; during and after our short relationship and I hope that one that I’ll have the gut to send it to you; but until then; for whatever it’s worth; I love and miss you seriously.”
The volume of her voice decreased as she uttered the last sentence of the write up; she looked up to me as she said the very last word and the look in her eyes screamed ‘I’m really sorry; I wouldn’t have read it if I knew it was that personal.
But then I smiled at her; the calmest I could find; there was really no hard feeling; what was done was done; in fact a part of me was happy it was out there.
I didn’t hear any ovation when she finished the story; I couldn’t tell whether the story was that bad or the moment too awkward to do so; but then none of that mattered; the sum total of all the ovation I’d gotten from them earlier was sufficient enough to last me for months; so I just stood up; smiled at all of them and found the quickest way out.
It’s still your boy @goldenmoses..stay tuned the madness continues.
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